quick write photo

                   

                                                                         
                         Quick write photo


                           This picture was taken in Auckland  and won  Auckland photo competition.
                              We used this photo  because it could bring a lot of ideas to our writing.
          We used complex sentence's , opener sentence's , place a comma in the write place and use short             sharp sentences. I made mine a sad story because he brakes two ribs and a dislocates a  shoulder. We          had to feel like  we were the character I brainstormed my feelings , thoughts and monologue .

             

 The jump

I’m walking across the old rustic wharf with my friends , I feel there eyes burning  on my back

as I climb on  the fence. I take of my shoes and see the bottom of the water .   I had a beautiful city as a backdrop the sky tower nearly reaching the sky and going through the clouds. I realized when I was on that fence that this is  high !!

I hesitate, mumble  then jump up. Go down as fast as a rocket , I get shocked.

That was the moment that I swam  up from the bottom of the water and felt  the coldness. As I put my head up from the water, I saw the dark ,sad sky.

I climb the ladder up to the wharf ,my ribs are hurting real bad. Next thing I know I’m in the car going to the emergency centre. I see people that look a lot worse than myself some with cuts down there legs  and black eyes.

I see my friends talking to the doctor and saying that we  were just playing truth or dare and we dared him to jump of the wharf.

Well whatever you were doing it was going to have consequences to it . Anyway your friend is good to go he’s got two broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder .

A few minutes later.

`Okay let's go  home and get you to rest.


           

Foul shot penalty shootout

                                          Penalty shoot-out
  In class lately my class and I have been working on a poem called foul shot by Edwin A. Hoey.
   We looked at his writing and saw all the techniques that he used in his writing . We made our own piece  ,
 We chose a sporting moment that took 10 seconds long . I picked Football the last penalty shot 4 all .
                                             Here is my poem below


                                       Taking the shot

Extra time has been given

It’s  not enough

Penalty shootout

Tied up 4 all

I’ve got the shot

I'm nervous but I have no time

Teammates  cheering

Take the ball

Put it on the spot

The ball is slippery ,  wet

  Take 7 steps back

  Eye on the ball

Lean

Wobble

Concentrate

Focus

Hesitate

Can’t wait no longer

The whistle goes

                                                                And then

                                                                                                                 And then

I nail it right into bottom corner

The crowd goes wild

Writing to the Unknown soldier

As part of our ANZAC inquiry we wrote to the Unknown soldier . In my letter we used complex sentences, short sharp sentences . We had to show different techniques` .

                                  This below is my letter to the unknown soldier

,  

To the unknown soldier

I want you to know that we, Havelock North Community, remembered

you last week on the  25th of April Saturday. I feel warm ,

cozy and  safe far away from the fighting .

When I think of war I think of the people

especially the young boys that died and fighted for our country.

They thought it was going to be an adventure but they thought wrong.

How did you feel when you put on your green uniform for the first time?  Did you feel proud? In class lately  we have been seeing what the uniforms look like . I want you to know that you are not forgotten.  Your bravery has let us live a happy, free life .

I’m sitting in my classroom with my friends chatting happily and knowing that there is no war (except isis. We are safe.  I know that you were sitting in the trenches and feeling the blood dripping down your body with the frightening sound of the machine guns firing at you, your fellow fighters and friends.

If you weren’t in the army,  you would probably be at home working on the farm looking after  the animals. How did you feel when you got given a gun and told to start killing, frustrated . Were you a volunteer or were you told to go to war? What did you feel inside you when you left your home for the last time? I cannot imagine what it felt like. Were you sad? Did you cry? I know I would

Although you may  have not returned,  you have not been forgotten. As we look down to you , we do not feel afraid,or scared . I feel  privileged   to be living in this  country

New Zealand. I’m only 11 but already I know so much about history , and the War.

When the war ended was it weird to finally not hear the machine guns firing at your trenches  and the bombs getting throwed in the middle of no man’s land?

This is not a letter it is a story of appreciation.

Your sincerely  

Tim slabbekoorn